Kymberly Williams-Evans, MA and Alexandra Williams, MA
What are the biggest “no nos” when it comes to activewear that exits the privacy of your own closet — but shouldn’t? You’ve seen them; we’ve seen them too–Fitness Fashion Faux Pas. Those workout outfits that were never “in.” Following are the top fashion crimes exercisers cite as the most heinous:
High Cut AND HIgh Fashion
1. Top of the list is Workout Gear that is Too Revealing.
You may be advertising, but is anyone buying it? Another way to look at it (or “please don’t make us look,” as the case may be) is not wearing enough support.
Men: In general, the jewels we want to see fall out of you are the ones that are in the form of a ring or earrings. The ones you use to create future bodybuilders, not so much.
Thelma & Louise, get back in!
Women: Make sure “Thelma and Louise” have a proper home and not one that is home on the free range. In other words, put your “girls” into a “headlights up” position, not an “oops, they jumped the shark” kind of deal.
Men and Women: If anything drops out the bottom of your shorts, it should be a key, not your bottom. You can safely and stylishly drop ell-bees and calories. Other than that, people need a chance to use their imaginations. Gravity is your friend for bicep curls, not for tush unfurls!
Are these for working out or for getting worked up?
In short(s), no hanging out, while working out! Flatter yourself that whatever you are endowed with needs support.
2. Putting Your Worst Foot Forward by Wearing Improper Footwear!
“Wrong place, wrong time” shoes (using that term loosely) we have seen on active feet include:
No No No No No No No No
No
- Moonboots to go on a several mile power walk. Who remembers moonboots? Large, knee-high, bulky, huge ridges on the sole, soft-bottomed, (unlike all you exercisers with tight, toned, tushies!). The best one could do was shuffle along in them. But to tackle a fast walk up hill and dale? Nooooo. Moonstruck for moonboots? Snap out of it!
- Hiking shoes inside the gym. Say no more.
- Flip flops in the weight room or group fitness room. Crush my unprotected toes now and put us out of the misery of waiting for the other shoe to fall in an accident begging to happen.
3. Works on the Street or Beach, but Not in the Club
- Large purse as an accessory when venturing on a meadow hike. True story! A woman showed up for an early morning meadow hike at a fitness resort we used to teach at hauling a purse that could have doubled as a suitcase. Was there shopping out on the meadow and we’d always missed it? Had she been unable to lock her resort room and thought her B52 bomber of a purse needed to be snugly in her arms to stay safe? Maybe the purse contained weights to increase her hike intensity.However you look at it, the poor woman struggled the entire hike.
- Swimsuits as fitness wear. Talk about limited range of movement. If you want to be included in category #1 above, swimwear is one of the quickest ways to achieve such notoriety. Women, take our experienced word for it (yes, we tried this fashion no-no to our chagrin). You move, the top does not. Swim with the sharks, don’t jump with them, as we noted earlier.
- A belt with any metal pieces or sharp buckle. Don’t test this theory, just take our word for it that you can puncture inflatable equipment such as a stability ball or disc and land flat on the mat.
- Heavy jewelery. Any clinking and clanking in the gym should be from weight stacks, not your bedecked finery. Tinkling bracelets, jarring chains, long earrings all spell noise AND an opportunity to get caught in machines and clothing.
- Anything that turns see-through once drenched in sweat. Hmmm, maybe this should be in the first category of too revealing. The look that has a dark bra or briefs under sopping wet light shirt or shorts is simply saying “wring me out,” not “ask me out.”
- Clothes with no give or stretch to them such as jeans. Count on these clothes tearing or catching on something during your work out. Something about the law of blue jeans (is this the “thin blue line” we always hear about?) is that such tears happen only in embarrassing places — yeah, either the butt or crotch. It’s never the inner seam or hem, is it?
4. Last on the list are Scents More Powerful Than You Are.
We’re big fans of nice smells and delightful sniffies, (see our Mother’s Day post on scenterrific spa products) but we have heard our share of members complaining about
- heavy perfumes or colognes that “other” people are doused in. If your Chanel #5 is doing a a stint as Chanel #25, tone it down or leave it off before activating your “glow” glands at the gym.
- Of course we are not talking about YOU, but if you know someone who completely lacks a personal relationship with deodorant, well, you know where we’re headed with this. Yeah, out of the room!
For the record, while many of the outfits we once wore might currently qualify as Fitness Fashion Faux Pas, in their time and our prime they were Fitness Fashion Notables, not No-nos! So there! But if you wear a French cut leotard with an elastic belt prancing about today in the gym or Dolfin running shorts paired with dark dress socks, you are fair game for Worst Dressed What Not to Wear When Working Out awards!
Take advantage of our free Fun and Fit guide to “What to Wear When Working Out.” This guide is so short you can read it here: Wear what you can move in safely, effectively and without embarrassing yourself.
Fitness Fashionistas: What is the worst workout outfit you have seen or worn?
Photo credit: Photobucket, Creative Commons
The Happy Days clip brought back horrible memories of 70′s TV viewing that I had mananged to repress until this point. Now I think I am in need of counseling. Thanks!
But I do like the high fashion pic of you two working out!
Oh here’s my tip contribution: Not always good for a man to run while wearing a close fitting, light colored cotton shirt on a warm day…too much sweat revelation!
Dear John: Many people have managed to repress their memories of the Fonz, much to their chagrin. As to the close-fitting shirts on men, you should send us a photo so we can evaluate for ourselves!
Love your website — and your sense of humor!
One of my favorite fitness fashion faux pas is when women wear leggings that have been worn a few too many times and have no idea that when they bend over, we have to view EVERYTHING. It’s particularly bad when they don’t where even a g-string. EEEEWWWW!
Crackage is crackage, whether it’s on women or men (or construction-related).
I wore glasses just like yours in my 5th grade school picture!
The funniest apparel I’ve seen at my wellness center was worn by an 82 year old man: short-shorts. I could see his cheeks while he walked around and when he sat down, well never mind…you can use your imagination.
I think I won’t use my imagination in this case, because my mental processes may shut down entirely. Being 82 – so what? Seeing too much – No thanks!
A-OK Fonz!
2 minutes of VERY dramatic music and footage
And yes – THOSE SHORTS?>????????
OUCH!
Super funny ladies
Kris @Krazy_Kris recently posted..South Lake Tahoe | The PERFECT Vacation
Come on and admit it, Kris. You have a pair of those short with matching moon boots, don’t you? And to think I have a pair of hot hot paisley workout shorts somewhere in my drawer. I keep them as a reminder to stay fully dressed in public!
AlexandraFunFit recently posted..Planking Meets Fitness Plank
Awesome! I see the most inappropriate clothes at the gym.
*The old guy in short shorts and no underwear showing everyone his junk.
*The chicks wearing such revealing clothes it’s embarrassing (with full makeup of course)
One time I saw a chick on the elliptical next to me in a dress, full make up and stiletto knee-high boots. What??
Lisa recently posted..At Least There’s Tons of Zucchini…
Hey Lisa. What? You didn’t like my elliptical outfit? Dang. Was it the make-up? Okay, that lady sounds like perhaps she was either not expecting to work out, so she wore what she had on, OR…..she was looking for someone to buy her dinner. Oh, the things you see!
AlexandraFunFit recently posted..Planking Meets Fitness Plank