“You little bitch troll from Hell.”
“If you want things, you have to pay for them.” “Since when?”
“No, you do NOT want to meet my mum.”
“I can’t believe you’re still … alive.”
“Cheers, You don’t get that on British Airways.”
“Oh, hello dear.”
“Inside of me there’s a thin person screaming to get out.” “Just the one, dear?”
“Ooh, bear with me, see, I’m hopeless with names, faces and people.”
“Blah blah blah blah blah.”
And in case none of these worked, the coup de grâce: “Sweetie darling.”
Yes, yes, yes, you guessed it – Ab Fab, aka Absolutely Fabulous. And I got to go to an advance screening of Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie in Hollywood the other night. I even did my best to dress just like Patsy, though I may have ended up more like Eddy, simply because I don’t have long legs, a blonde beehive or modeling experience. Yes, I’m sure that was it.
To explain the depths of my devotion, let me just say that I own the complete 1990’s TV series… on VHS. And I entered a recent contest to win an Ab Fab makeover in New York. I didn’t win. Except in the end, I did, because I was invited to the screening. And they gave us champers, darling. Bubbly. Which is not the same as Bubble, if you know what I mean. I was holding out for a few sips of Chanel No. 5, but maybe next time.
As my guest, I brought a male friend who knew nothing of the show or its stars. Nothing. What a troglodyte. But I rescued him from cultural obscurity by picking out his clothes and letting him drive me to the ArcLight Cinerama Dome on Sunset and Vine.
He actually laughed harder than I did, and I laughed throughout the entire film. He was also a good sport about the fact that I kept whispering in his ear the names of the people in the cameos. And it is a very long list. I think he only knew Jon Hamm. And Lulu. His favorite thing about the movie? Joanna Lumley’s facial expressions as Patsy Stone. My favorite thing? The entire movie. And being happily surprised to see Jane Horrocks back as Bubble. And being amazed that none of the stars seemed to have aged a whit. And recognizing the comedic genius that is Jennifer Saunders – her writing is spot on.
You don’t need to know anything about the Ab Fab TV show to “get” the movie. My friend had tears in his eyes from laughing so hard, and he was the ultimate newbie. I don’t even think he knew it would have been okay to mock my outfit until after he’d seen the movie. Anyway, the last I saw him, he was riding off on his Ducati to find Joanna Lumley. Maybe I should have told him he’d have to ride over water.
Anyway, go see Ab Fab. Watch this trailer for it. Dress accordingly and bring some bubbly. Bring me too. I was a guest at the screening as part of a campaign for the movie, but I’m going to pay to go see it again and again, just to find ALL the cameo players.
This post is made possible by support from Fox Searchlight Pictures. All guffaws, snorts, chuckles, giggles and opinions are my own, sweetie darling.
Alexandra Williams, MA
Even though I grew up on a beach in L.A. County, I rarely went to Hollywood. Now I enjoy going to the area, as it has so much activity, energy, architecture, history, people-watching (and there are a LOT of quirky people there, believe me, especially those in costume near the (Grauman) Chinese Theatre), restaurants, nightlife and creativity.
I am going to figure out a way to hold my parade balloon (an elf or candy cane) with one hand while taking pictures and sharing real-time videos on my Periscope account while we march in the parade this Sunday, November 29 at 5pm. Then we’ll stay overnight at the Hollywood Hotel, which is over 100 years old.
Celebrities will be in the parade – Penn and Teller are the Grand Marshals – and celebrities have stayed at the hotel, so my fingers are crossed that Kristen Wiig and I will meet and become BFFs while clutching an inflatable elf (not Will Ferrell, though that would be good too). I wouldn’t say no to Aidan Quinn either.Anyone who wants can get in on this adventure: Be a balloon wrangler in Hollywood. Click To Tweet
I’d love to say I’m special, but actually anyone who wants can get in on this adventure. Book a room at the Hollywood Hotel for a stay that includes the night of the parade, and you can walk the parade route with us (and the hotel team) for rates as low as $139 for two people. This includes hot buffet breakfast, Wifi, Hollywood Hotel t-shirt and holiday hat to wear in the parade and, of course, walking in the parade. You have to use the promo code XMAS to get the deal. Most hotel chains charge that much just for the Wifi and breakfast.
We’ll be walking the world’s longest red carpet – 3.5 miles along Hollywood Blvd, Sunset Blvd, and Vine – all street names that visitors from around the world know and want to visit. So yeah, I’m pretty excited about letting my son know what he’s getting for his birthday. He won’t quite be 21, so we’ll skip the outdoor bar and lounge, but we’ll pack our swimsuits for the pool.
I love history, so maybe you will enjoy this tidbit that caught my eye – the original Hollywood Hotel was owned by H.J. Whitley, the man credited with establishing Hollywood. You know, BEFORE silent pictures were all the rage.
I’m really looking forward to our adventure as parade participants. We’re taking up one of the hotel’s 130 rooms, so if you want one of the other 129, you’d better hustle up. Hollywood glamour. Celebrities. A vintage, yet cosmopolitan vibe. Culture. And that other thing. Oh yeah, the parade!!!!
I’ll make it easy on you: For more information or reservations contact 1-800-800-9733; 323-315-1800 , or visit hollywoodhotel.net or on Facebook. The hotel is located at 1160 Vermont Ave., Hollywood, CA 90029.
photo credits: Hollywood Hotel and Hollywood Christmas Parade
I wasn’t paid to write this post. I was invited to stay at the Hollywood Hotel and participate in the parade, which I am REALLY looking forward to. Since you made it all the way to the bottom of this post, you might as well subscribe right over there ——–>
Alexandra Williams, MA